Wax that

Wax that

Sunday, September 28, 2014

Control and order

Much as I've joked about women running the world...everything in my life points to it being true.

Least my world.

Long story short I'm done.

I'm not doing music. I'm not painting. I'm not going to do anything but be a family person. I'm tired of being told that I don't compromise. That I don't pay attention to the family.

I'm done.

It's sad that the two things that keep me sane and grounded are the same things pushing me apart from everyone. 

I just wish I could be myself around people without it being a hassle or inconvenience.

This sucks. Next lifetime hopefully? 

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Church

According to the lady, my focus is only on work.
That's how she feels.

Feelings are funny like that. I had feelings about stuff that was serious too..then she moved someone in.

Like having 3 kids now.

Pretty much the biggest fuck you to whatever feelings I did have on the matter.

Long story short. A women will have you living in "her" reality if you don't watch yourself.

Some days I feel like a tool or object. 

Music and art help me feel human again. That, and being around my little boys. Which would be hard to believe according to my girl.

Off to work now....since its a workday.

Sunday, September 7, 2014

Lunch thoughts.

I'm always made to feel like the odd man out. I have an image about myself that I can't even fight back against.

I'm just gonna come out and say it. Having creative abilities and/or talents ruins just as much as it creates. Your always a slave to inspiration/imagination, always at its mercy. Operating under a make believe control you tell yourself you have.
The control isn't there...the only control you have is the control to not control anything involved around the arts. It chose me. I Diddnt choose it.

Wonder what it'll have me do today...wonder what I will owe and to whom.

Sometimes a man just wants to blend in. I can't even blend into my own family. Damn. I just stick out. Perception games till death will change.

Friday, September 5, 2014

Hiking

Last week's hike.

Spectacular as usual.

Logic

Found a new painter homie. Out in Cali but still....it's g. Aterica is a g.

I'm RESPECTED.

And I can handle that.

Music can wait by the way. I'm tired  of beats and lyrics. Jonwayne is the only one with my attention.

Koreantown oddity as well.

Those guys need to work with me like now.


In other news. Company picnic today. Let's do it.